Hey, was Richie always an asshole? Dude, always and forever. Dude, he’s the fucking worst. Mm, yeah, he sucks. Dude, he’s not a nice guy. He’s just- he’s sad inside.
EBON MOSS-BACHRACH as RICHIE JERIMOVICH in THE BEAR
• An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.
• A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.
• A bar was walked into by the passive voice.
• An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.
• Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”
• A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.
• Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.
• A question mark walks into a bar?
• A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.
• Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Get out – we don’t serve your type.”
• A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.
• A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
• Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.
• A synonym strolls into a tavern.
• At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar – fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.
• A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.
• Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.
• A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.
• An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.
• The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.
• A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.
• The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
• A dyslexic walks into a bra.
• A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.
• A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.
• A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.
• A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony
Tumblr: No NSFW! You know how it is we banned it because of the bots in 2018!
Also tumblr:
lmao
You know how it is then, folks!
MANUAL BLAZE MODE GO
….am I allowed to say “whovians, grab your TARDISes?” You know how it is.
Tumblr loves doing this. I tried to make a post about the ads that showed actual human penises in them, with screenshots, and it was taken down for violating community guidelines…. unlike the ad, I guess?
If I read something on the asks that feels genuinely threatening or dangerous, or that’s actually abusive, I just delete it and block the person.
If I’m answering an ask here you can assume that as far as I’m concerned even if it’s apparently threatening or angry, it’s meant humorously or with love.
It’s never appropriate to dogpile people. Never appropriate to threaten or abuse them, even if you think you are doing it for me and with the best of intentions. Don’t.
If you are upset on my behalf, or on behalf of all Tumblr users, just think “this is probably a tone-deaf attempt at humour” and let it go.
Reblogging because I’m seeing people upset or offended on my behalf. To repeat, If I’m answering an ask here you can assume that as far as I’m concerned even if it’s apparently threatening or angry, it’s meant humorously or with love.
If I think something is actually unpleasant or bad, I’ll just block them.
Don’t dogpile on my behalf. I don’t want you to, I think it’s actively a bad idea, and it’s bullying. (Remember: it can still be bullying when more than one of you turn up, even when you think you’re in the right or the aggrieved party.)
Play nice, never attribute to malice what can easily be attributed to internet-caused text-based tone-deafness or misinterpretation, and everyone will have an easier time.
